Prompt: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)
ROFL!!! I read this prompt today after just (as in 5 seconds ago) sending off my final (13 page) paper to my grad school instructor, a paper I have been dragging along behind me (like Marley’s chains) for several weeks. In fact, I had planned on having it finished a week ago, but after finding the due date was first delayed by a few days and then an entire week, I have of course pushed this baby as far out in left field as it would go.
Why? This paper is a response to a video I filmed earlier this school year of my teaching. These things are painful to do, painful to watch, and then painful to analyze in detail. All my doubts and fears about my teaching are no longer hidden (if they ever really were) and are out there in full view of…well, my instructor, some classmates, but perhaps most importantly…myself. When I watch the video I can only see all the things I did wrong, how that blouse is totally not attractive on me, the student zoning off in the corner, etc. It is an experience similar to your life on the big screen. Weird, since a hundred teenagers are witness to my teaching every day. I’m not so worried about that, just what other adults think (why?).
The paper I wrote was a response to a series of prompts about what happened in the video. I was asked about what I DID do and how I know I did it. There is one small place at the back of the paper, in the reflection section, where the prompt asks me most quaintly what I would consider doing different next time. Despite my emotional need to go on ad infinitum, I choose one thing that I would change, explain it in a paragraph, and walk away.
Aaahhh…and now it is done. On with Christmas! Bring on my daughter’s wedding! The wheels of my life begin turning once again!
I often find that when it seems like the whole world is coming down on me, if I pause and reflect on what is really bothering me (writing it out is good here), it is usually one or two things that I have avoided, are carrying around with me in the back of my mind, and just can’t make myself get to. I am a strong believer in Flylady who says, “You can do anything in 15 minutes.” I make a plan where I sit down and attack the thing in 15 minute increments. Sometimes it only takes 15 minutes to do. Or I will find I am not ready to walk away after 15 minutes because I am on a roll. Worst case, I go do something enjoyable for a time then return, repeating the process until the task is finished. When I take action on those items, all of a sudden everything else falls into place and the nagging worry is gone, hope returns and a clearer vision appears of where to go from here. I am ready to take on the day.
Bonus: I did it!
Thanks for turning me onto FlyLady.
ReplyDeleteJuliet